Written by Kevin Gao, JAMHacks V Organizer
Winning my first hackathon was a bittersweet memory. It had been a year since I first started attending hackathons, having participated in five prior.
I remember being ecstatic that I had finally won something. My competitive nature often made me leave hackathons feeling unaccomplished and empty from not winning, but this time, I was able to go on without this heartbreak.
However, after leaving the venue, I felt a different kind of unexpected disappointment. Even though our team had won, I had no part in any of the code that brought the project alive. I ended up working on things that never made it to the final project and felt like I was just lucky to have amazing and competent friends who carried me through. My feelings of incompetence and inadequacy were something I brushed off, since I knew I would have many more chances to improve and grow.
Nonetheless, this feeling would, once again, come back to haunt me. About six months later, I had once again won at a hackathon, unexpectedly.
I ended up repeating the same mistake. I worked on our project but ended up being blinded by perfectionism and scale, and my contributions never ended up being used, nor be of any use. I was once again carried by my competent team members, and I felt really conflicted. This time, I received a much larger prize than I had ever received from any hackathons before, but this was unable to numb me from reality.
Afterwards, I continued to participate in hackathons, but with a different lens this time. I was bummed when I didn’t win anything, but I was still satisfied each time I completed a project and was able to present to the judges. I won here and there, but winning became more of a highlight rather than a focus—my confidence and self-worth were boosted by, but not reliant on winning.
Hackathons have been a big part of my life and have given me the confidence to continue on my path as a software engineer, due in part to the projects I completed and the feelings of success. Months later, I was able to land an internship as a software engineer over the summer; at this point in my life, I finally made it into my dream university program.
When you are participating in a hackathon, make sure you find what is most important to you and learn to define your own success. Hackathons aren’t just a competition. They are more of an event that, honestly, provides something valuable to everyone. This could be learning a new skill, networking with companies, or even just having fun.
Personally, I learned to be more lax and have fun taking breaks in between, and I found these moments to be just as valuable as the actual competition: things like late-night cup stacking, eating ramen noodles, and just fooling around in general.
Whatever it is, I hope that you can come out of JAMHacks V, or any other hackathons you attend for that matter, feeling accomplished even if you don’t win a prize.
